• A woman I once met told me that men are like tile floors because, if you lay them right the first time, you can walk on them forever.
  
  My Jewish mother often reminded me that: "There is nothing more expensive than a girl that's free for dinner." We lovingly refer to it as 'Gertrude's Immutable Law #1.'
  
  And for the younger crowd: "East is east and west is west and never the 'twain shall meet. However, if two 'twains meet, you will have a 'twain weck."
  
  My Romanian grandfather left me with three basic rules for life. One, if you eat like a bird and poop like an elephant, you WILL turn yourself inside out. Two, sometimes you have to look across the table and let the other fellow know that it's time to go #@%$ himself. Three, NEVER argue with an idiot--people looking on won't know which is which. Not bad for a Romanian carrot farmer with no education.
  -Barry, WA5KXX
  
  
• Fast is fine but accuracy is final. You have to learn to take your time ... in a hurry
  - Wyatt Earp
  
  
• Men are like fine wine-- they all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something we'd like to have dinner with.
  - Anon.
  
  
• Two roads divide in the woods, and I - I took the one less traveled by. And that has made all the difference.
  - Robert Frost.
  
  
• Life isn't a problem to be solved, it's a mystery to be lived... So, live it!
  - Unknown
  
  
• Life is a banquet... And most poor suckers are starving to death!
  - AUNTIE MAME, the play
  
  
• Giving and sharing are spontaneous expressions of joy.
  - Unknown
  
  
• The three grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, someone to love, and something to hope for.
  - Unknown
  
  
• The great thing in this word is not so much where we are, but in what direction we are moving.
  - Unknown
  
  
• Measure time by friends, not years. Recall the days by smiles, not tears.
  - Unknown
  
  
• Happiness eludes the one who tries to get it. It comes to the one who tries to get it for others.
  - Unknown
  
  
• We do not love people so much for the good they do us as for the good we have done them.
  - Unknown
  
  
• Today I smiled, and all at once things didn't look so bad. Today I shared with someone else, a bit of hope I had. Today I sang a little song, and felt my heart grow light, And walked a happy little mile, with not a cloud in sight. Today I worked with what I had, and longed for nothing more, And what had seemed like only weeds, were flowers at my door. Today I loved a little more, complained a little less, And in the giving of myself, forgot my weariness.
  ----- Author Unknown
  ----- reprinted from Leaves
  
  
• Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
  -Unknown
  
  
• Baby talk is never half so babyish, I find, As when it is the parents who Express themselves in kind.
  - S. H. Dewhurst
  
  
• Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately... it kills all its pupils.
  - Hector Berlioz
  
  
• The final goal of education is not knowledge, but . . . action!!
  - Unknown
  
  
• There is hopeful symbolism in the fact that flags do not wave in a vacuum!
  - Arthur C. Clarke
  
  
• Beep, beep, beep...
  - Sputnik I, 1957
  
  
• Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
  - Arthur C. Clarke
  
  
• This man is not a poet, but his words will float if you can hear them not from his mouth, but from his heart, propelled by his love.
  - Dave H. Messinger
  
  
• Possession of a hungry mind, in and of it's self, does not guaranty success.
  - Michael Caine's Character, EDUCATING RITA 
  
  
• No critique of art is objective.
  - Unknown
  
  
• Woman was made from rib of man
  - she was not created from him head
  - to top him, nor from his feet
  - to be stepped upon. She was made from his side
  - to be equal to him: from beneath his arm
  - to be protected by him: near his heart
  - to be loved by him.
  ----- from a poster
  
  
• There are three kinds of people: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen and those who wonder what happened.
  -Anon.
  
  
• It is only possible to live happily ever after on a day-to-day basis.
  -Margaret Bonnano
  
  
• There is more to life than increasing its speed.
  -Mahatma Gandhi
  
  
• When you have done something unforgivable, you must forgive yourself.
  - A saying of psychologists
  
  
• Anything worth doing is worth over doing.
  - Dave H. Messinger
  
  
• No one is perfect, but we can keep trying.
  - Anonymous
  
  
• Friends are a necessary frill.
  - Anonymous
  
  
• Finish each day and be done with it...
  you have done the best you could;
  some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in;
  forget them as soon as you can.
  Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it well and serenely.
  - R. W. Emerson
  
  
• A Prayer;
  Good Morning G-d!
  You are ushering in another day untouched and friendly new,
  so here I am to ask you G-d if you'll renew me too?
  Forgive the many errors I made yesterday,
  and let me try again dear G-d to walk closer in thy way.
  But Father I am well aware I can't make it on my own.
  So take my hand and hold it tight, for I can't walk alone.
  - Bert Rosen
  
  
• I wish communication between people was easier.
  There is so much frustration, hurt feelings and anger when we don't understand each other.
  I believe we really want to care and love and reach out to one another
  and I believe the way to s
  olve the difficulties we encounter in life is to work them out together.
  - Katy Fischer (1982)
  
  
• Notes on breaking up:
  If she's gone, she's gone. I won't be happy but I will deal with it... and eventually I will be happy again.
  Tomorrow I'll wake up in the morning, breathing... so it can't be that bad.
  - Dave H. Messinger
  
  
• If, of the many truths, you select only one and follow it blindly, it will become a falsehood, and you a fanatic.
  - Unknown
  
  
• Without the heart there can be no understanding between the mind and the hand.
  - Unknown
  
  
• Every man is where he is by the law of his being; The thoughts which he has built into his character have brought him there.
  - James Allen
  
  
• Every one has the right to make an ass out of themselves, ya just can't let the world judge ya too much.
  - Maude (Ruth Gordon), Harold and Maude
  
  
• Mountain Man Toast -
  Here's to the childs what's came afore.
  'An here's to the pilgrims what comes arter.
  May yer trails be free of Grizzlies,
  Yer packs filled with plews, And fat buffler in yer pot!
  Waugh!
  
  
• Memories of you and I
  and time shared
  spill on to the landscape
  of my mind,
  Sunlight after a winter storm...
  and I find myself wishing
  I could reach across space and time
  . . . just to see your smile
  again
  - C. Snow (c) '79
  
  
• If you find yourself doing something you would not normally do, to please another, you have given up control of yourself to that other person... and that is not good.
  - Gene Foster, Colorado CarPhone
  
  
• Remember; Never orally ingest human fecal material, it will give you liver disfunction.
  - Gene Foster, Colorado CarPhone
  
  
• Sex is like shopping at the market; After a lot of pushing and shoving you feel not much is accomplished.
  - Sherly Valentine
  
  
• I used to think my father was an idiot, until I turned twenty-one...
  Then I thought he was a genus.
  - Mark Twain
  
  
• I'm going to marry my Truck. I always know where she is. She doesn't go any where with out me. If she's going to bitch and moan she usually flashes a few lights first. And she doesn't cry when I leave her alone.
  - Dave H. Messinger
  
  
• Plenty of men can do good work for a spurt and with immediate promotion in mind, but for promotion you want a man in whom good work has become a habit.
  - Henry L. Doherty
  
  
• Talk happiness. The world is sad enough without your woe.
  - Orison Swett Marden
  
  
• Mistakes are costly and somebody must pay. The time to correct a mistake is before it is made. The causes of mistakes are, first, "I didn't know"; second, "I didn't think"; third, "I didn't care".
  - Henry H. Buckley
  
  
• All I really needed to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate-school mountain, but there in the sand pile at Sunday School.
  These are the things I learned:
  Share everything.
  Play Fair.
  Don't hit people.
  Put things back where you found them.
  Clean up your own mess.
  Don't take things that aren't yours.
  Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
  Wash your hands before you eat.
  Flush.
  Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
  Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
  Take a nap every afternoon.
  When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.
  Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
  Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die. So do we.
  And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word we learned - the biggest word of all - LOOK.
  - Robert Fulghum, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten
  
  
• The Storyteller's Creed:
  I believe that imagination is more important than knowledge.
  That myth is more potent than history.
  That dreams are more powerful than facts.
  That hope always triumphs over experience.
  That laughter is the only cure for grief.
  And I believe that love is stronger than death.
  - Robert Fulghum, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten
  
  
• "Growing older... But not up."
  "I'm crazy... But it keeps me from going insane."
  - Jimmy Buffet
  
  
• Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.
  - Albert Einstein
  
  
• Marriage is a great institution... But who wants to be institutionalized?
  - an old saying
  
  
• A man is not complete until he is married... Then he's finished.
  - another old saying
  
  
• You can't argue with a sick mind
  - Joe Walsh
  
  
• "oh, one drink (smoke, line) isn't that bad". But it is! You can't get you head together if you can't find it!
  - Dave H. Messinger
  
  
• The people you attract are the same kind and personality that you project yourself to be.
  - Dr. Larry Allen
  
  
• When an owl comes to a mouse picnic he's not there for the sack races.
  - an old Polish proverb
  
  
• Three of the greatest things in life;
  1) a warm soft place to lay your head,
  2) a full belly at the end of the day,
  3) a sweet woman that is a mute!
  - Dave H. Messinger
  
  
• Nothing astonishes men so much as common sense and plain dealing.
  - Ralph Waldo Emerson
  
  
• The sea will grant each man new hope, and sleep will bring dreams of home.
  - Christopher Columbus
  
  
• There is no riches above a sound body.
  - The New Testament
  
  
• Pay every debt, as if God wrote the bill.
  - Ralph Waldo Emerson
  
  
• All good things are cheep; all bad things are very dear.
  - Henry David Thoreau
  
  
• Buy land. They ain't making any more of that stuff.
  - Will Rogers
  
  
• That man is the richest whose pleasures are the cheapest.
  - Henry David Thoreau
  
  
• If the universe has any purpose more important then topping a woman you love and making a baby with her hearty help, I have never heard of it.
  - Lazarus Long
  
  
• A little revolution now and then is a good thing.
  Capt. Marlio Ramius, The Hunt For Red October
  
  
• Airline travel is hours of boredom interrupted by moments of stark terror.
  - Al Boliska
  
  
• The shore is an ancient world, for as long as there has been an earth and sea there has been this place of the meeting of land and water.
  - Rachel Carson, The Edge of the Sea
  
  
• Into my heart an air that kills
  From yon far country blows:
  What are those blue remembered hills,
  What spires, what farms are those?
  - A. E. Housman, A Shropshire Lad XL
  
  
• We're all fools most of our lives, it's unavoidable.
  - Misure' Troufast, La Misarabe'
  
  
• My heart leaps up when I behold
  A rainbow in the ski:
  So was it when my life began;
  So it is now I am a man;
  So be it when I shall grow old,
  Or let me die!
  - Wordsworth, My Heart Leaps Up
  
  
• You need three things in the theater -
  the play, the actors, and the audience,
  and each must have something to give.
  - Kenneth Haigh
  
  
• When the One Great Scorer comes to write against your name
  He marks - not that you won or lost - but how you played the game.
  - Grantland Rice
  
  
• "He's mad that trusts in the tameness of a wolf, a horse's health, a boy's love, or a whore's oath."
  - Shakespeare, King Lear 3. 6. 18-19
  
  
• Had I learned to fiddle, I should have done nothing else.
  - Samuel Johnson
  
  
• If you watch a game, it's fun.
  If you play it, it's recreation.
  If you work at it, it's golf.
  - Bob Hope
  
  
• . . . the 1962 world championship was finally determined by an otherwise perfect swing of a bat which came to the collision 1mm too high to effect the transfer of title.
  - Dr. Paul Kirkpatrick, "Batting the Ball", Am. J. of Physics, 1963
  
  
• In skiing's early Golden Age
  No arguments made skiers rage.
  The ski was used for transportation
  In every snow-bound northern nation.
  - Ski Magazine's Encyclopedia of Skiing
  
  
• I feel a recipe is only a theme, which an intelligent cook can play each time with a variation.
  - Madame Benoit
  
  
• Cleanliness is next to godliness - and next to impossible.
  - Anon.
  
  
• Swans sing before they die - 'twere no bad thing
  Should certain persons die before they sing.
  - Coleridge
  
  
• I'm not afraid to die.
  I just don't want to be there when it happens.
  - Woody Allen
  
  
• People that insist upon drinking and driving, are putting the quart before the hearse.
  - G. K. Chesterton
  
  
• If a drunk drinks coffee the only thing you get is a wide awake drink.
  - Unknown
  
  
• Look not thou down but up!...
  - Robert Browning
  
  
• If you think you know it all... you're through!
  - John Cooger Melencamp
  
  
• Listen to the voice that blows in the wind, from the beginning of time to eternity's end.
  - Unknown
  
  
• I think that there should be a law of Nature to prevent the star from behaving in this absurd way.
  - Sr. Arthur Eddington, on finding how stars are created
  
  
• Try never to get in your own way too much, mon'.
  - Maubee, from the movie The Mighty Quinn
  
  
• I do my thing and you do your thing.
  I am not in this world to live up to your expectations.
  And you are not in this world to live up to mine.
  You are you and I am I,
  And if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful.
  - Fredrick S. Paris
  
  
• It is better to be judged by twelve strangers then to carried by six friends.
  - An old Police and Self-Defense saying
  
  
• A hit with a BB is more effective than a miss with a cannon ball.
  - A sign in a police armory
  
  
• The best gun for self-defense is the one comfortable enough to keep with you.
  - An old Police and Self-Defense saying
  
  
• When love is truly right it lives from year to year; changes as it goes and on the way it grows, but never disappears.
  - Unknown
  
  
• Everything starts as somebody's daydream.
  - Larry Niven
  
  
• Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
  - Dan Stanford
  
  
• The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said.
  - Peter F. Drucker
  
  
• The arm of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.
  - Martin Luther King Jr.
  
  
• Mondays are the potholes in the road of life.
  - Tom Wilson
  
  
• Change starts when someone sees the next step.
  - William Drayton
  
  
• At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet.
  - Plato
  
  
• Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more then half the people are right more than half the time.
  - E. B. White
  
  
• The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.
  - Doug Larson
  
  
• I take a simple view of life; keep your eyes open and get on with it.
  - Laurence Olivier
  
  
• Luck is a matter of preparation meeting opportunity.
  - Oprah Winfrey
  
  
• The best way to pay for a lovely moment is to enjoy it.
  - Richard Bach
  
  
• Sometimes the fool who rushes in gets the job done.
  - Al Bernstein
  
  
• Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
  - Steven Wright
  
  
• A warm smile is the universal language of kindness.
  - William Arthur Ward
  
  
• What some people mistake for the high cost of living is really the cost of living high.
  - Doug Larson
  
  
• Spring appears, and we are once more children.
  - Anonymous
  
  
• In the race for quality, there is no finish line.
  - David T. Kearns
  
  
• Children are likely to live up to what you believe of them.
  - Lady Bird Johnson
  
  
• A true friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else.
  - Len Wien
  
  
• Money is a good servant but a bad master.
  - French Proverb
  
  
• This summer one third of the nation will be ill-housed, ill-nourished and ill-clad. Only they call it a vacation.
  - Joseph Salak
  
  
• A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
  - Mignon McLaughlin
  
  
• The impersonal hand of government can never replace the helping hand of a neighbor.
  - Hubert H. Humphrey
  
  
• Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
  - Bill Cosby
  
  
• A leading authority is anyone who has guessed right more than once.
  - Frank A. Clark
  
  
• A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
  - Dwight D. Eisenhower
  
  
• There ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.
  - Mark Twain
  
  
• Make no judgments where you have no compassion.
  - Anne McAffrey
  
  
• Once you get people laughing, they're listening and you can tell them almost anything.
  - Herb Gardner
  
  
• Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain - and most do.
  - Dale Carnegie
  
  
• It takes a long time to grow an old friend.
  - John Leonard
  
  
• Trust in God - but tie your camel tight.
  - Persian Proverb
  
  
• If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it.
  - Jonathan Winters
  
  
• Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen.
  - John Steinbeck
  
  
• You can't act like a skunk without someone getting wind of it.
  - Lorene Workman
  
  
• Until you make peace with who you are, you'll never be content with what you have.
  - Doris Mortman
  
  
• You don't have to suffer to be a poet. Adolescence is enough suffering for anyone.
  - John Ciardi
  
  
• Time has a wonderful way of weeding out the trivial.
  - Richard Ben Sapir
  
  
• Happiness is a conscious choice not an automatic response.
  - Mildred Barthel
  
  
• You never know when you're making a memory.
  - Rickie Lee Jones
  
  
• We find comfort among those who agree with us - growth among those who don't.
  - Frank A. Clark
  
  
• One man practicing sportsmanship is far better than 50 preaching it.
  - Knute K. Rockne
  
  
• Cherishing children is the mark of a civilized society.
  - Joan Ganz Cooney
  
  
• A politician is a person who can make waves and then make you think he is the only one who can save the ship.
  - Ivern Ball
  
  
• Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having the ice cream fall from the cone.
  - Jim Fiebig
  
  
• Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by the traffic from both sides.
  - Margaret Thatcher
  
  
• Other things may change us, but we start and end with family.
  - Anthony Brandt
  
  
• Statistics are no substitute for judgment.
  - Henry Clay
  
  
• Just remember, when you're over the hill, you begin to pick up speed.
  - Charles Schulz
  
  
• The hours that make us happy make us wise.
  - John Masefield
  
  
• Christmas is the day that holds time together.
  - Alexander Smith
  
  
• Discoveries are often made by not following instructions, by going off the main road, by trying the untried.
  - Frank Tyger
  
  
• You're only young once, but you can be immature the rest of your life.
  - Unknown
  
  
• Life is sometimes like a cat, the more you chase it the faster it runs.
  - Ken Wahl
  
  
• On life: This isn't a rehearsal, this is the real thing.
  - Michale Caine
  
  
• My girlfriend said; "If you loved me you wouldn't drink so much", I said; "If I didn't drink so much I probably wouldn't love you."
  - Gary Muledear
  
  
• ACHIEVEMENT - The man who rows the boat generally doesn't have time to rock it.
  ADVERTISING - He who has a thing to sell and goes and whispers in a well, is not so apt to get the dollars as he who climbs a tree and hollers.
  BUSINESS - We are all manufacturers of goods- some make good, others make trouble and still others make excuses.
  EXPERIENCE - Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
  FRIENDSHIP - Never explain- your friends don't need it, and your enemies will not believe it anyway.
  OPTIMISM - An optimist is someone who tells you to cheer up when things are going his way.
  SATISFACTION - If you don't get everything you want, think of the things you don't get that you don't want.
  SUCCESS - If you have tried to do something and failed, you are vastly better off than if you had tried to do nothing and succeeded.
  
  
• A patriot must be ready to defend his country against it's government.
  - Unknown
  
  
• True love is like a ghost; most people talk of it, but very few have seen one.
  - Unknown
  
  
• Toughness is running around and through obstacles that stand between you and your goals.
  - A Running Magazine
  
  
• Toughness is finding the will and the skill to run outside your comfort zone.
  - A Running Magazine
  
  
• Admit nothing,
  deny everything,
  demand proof.
  - Old cop's saying
  
  
• My lips may promise but my heart is a whore
  - NIN
  
  
• Send lawyers, guns and money
  The shit has hit the fan
  - Warren Zevon
  
  
• I am a purveyor of chaos
  a hollow Saviour
  a soul sick jester
  tickling thy wounds
  - BLUE
  
  
• Three Rules to Live by:
  1. Pick your fights
  2. Don't sweat the small stuff
  3. Don't Lie
  - Suzy Raywood
  
  
• A lack of planning or your part, does not constitute an EMERGENCY on mine.
  - a sign in a business
  
  

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